Good and Bad news

Don’t you just love it when someone asks you do you want to good or the bad news first? I personally hate it.

So a while back I visited my psychiatrist and while sitting there crying my eyes out about how much my life sucked and how nothing makes me feel anything and crying as I type this now. So as you do, you spill the beans about everything in your life and you feel it is a safe space, but you still feel like the eyes of judgment is on you and you realise that life sucks more that you figured the more that you talk…

Yes that feeling.

So I am sitting there and my Dr gives me that knowing look and says…

“I have good news for you and bad news”

I feel like smacking him in the face because life sucks and what kind of fucking good news can you give me and he says…

“The bad news is that you no longer suffer from anxiety I have officially upgraded you to full blown depression”

My mind went all over the place in 2 point 5 seconds – what the hell kind of good news can follow that? He continued to say…

“Now that you have full blown depression, it can be registered as an PMB condition and the medical aid will now full cover my visits to him and I now longer have to pay the R1875 cash.”

Now that is how well this man knows me. Money matters.

He gave me a new script of antidepressants and a new sleeping pill and even some other medications for when I feel a panic attack coming on or if I think I am going to have a very stressful day. Started taking my meds to following day like a good girl and drank half of the prescribed sleeping to test the strength. That night I slept like a baby. The next day I still felt tired but it was a step in the right direction.

The Friday night I drank the other half of the sleeping pill and got into bed and after about 15 min I felt sick. I tried to ignore it as I was falling asleep but could not. Hannes was lying closest to the door and I lifted the blanket to climb over him to make a dash for the toilet and the next moment Hannes was standing over the bed screaming me and shaking me. I was almost soaked. He tried everything to wake me up. Apparently I had a seizure that lasted about 10 minutes. I have never seen him so freaked out. Obviously my pill worked very well and waking me and keeping me awake did not last long and shortly after I was out again.

The next morning I was reading the leaflet about the pill only to see a very important note that people who are prone to seizures should never ever take this medication. Now Lorelai has almost confirmed Absentee Epilepsy – I say almost because she had two full blown seizures and my medical history according to the Neurologist says that I never had ADHD as a child, but misdiagnosed absentee epilepsy. He tested came back as inconclusive and further tests required, but we made the decision not to until her silent seizures affects her school work or she falls over again.

I emailed the neurologist and my psychiatrist the next morning explaining what happened and the response I received from the neurologist was that this confirms it, I also do suffer from epilepsy and Lorelai does as well and he wants her back in for further testing as soon as possible. The psychiatrist told me to dump the meds immediately as this has never ever happened to any of his patients.

So in a nut shell I am on new medication that is working wonders and I should avoid anything and everything that might cause seizures.


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