Hurry up and wait is not for me

Let me start this post by saying for some or other reason I feel horrible writing this post. There are so many other people struggling with this and here I am complaining that I don’t want to “hurry up an wait” I want it all and I want it now. That is the kind of girl/women I have always been. So if I do offend anyone I am sorry but this is about me and not about you and what has happened in your life.

I am done saying sorry for complaining and all those other things I feel guilty about.

Hannes and I are trying for another baby, now I know you are thinking your relationship hit rock bottom 2 months ago?! I have wanted another baby since we got married, technically even before that, but Hannes has finally agreed and we have been trying for the last 2 months, like really trying. Yes we are working on us and mostly we need to work on the way we react to situations, I have noticed if you react better to a situation it does not become a big thing and you are able to talk about it and move on – yes that took us 6 years to realise.

Besides the fact that I have gotten side tracked again, the fact that I am not pregnant yet is making me crazy – not all day everyday crazy, but once or twice a day I think about it or I see a baby and then I’m all like, dammit why am I not pregnant.

You see I got pregnant the first time that Hannes and I slept together, yes I get that it is 6 years later and I am no longer 22 but hell hurry up and wait is not for me. I want to be pregnant and I want it now.

Before you comment and mention that I am still very young and have years to have another baby, you are wrong.I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE MORE CHILDREN AFTER 30.

Lets say I get pregnant April next year and I pop the baby out just after my 30th birthday, my house will look a little like this:


  • Age:11
  • Grade: 5


  • Age: 7
  • Grade: 1

But by the time the new baby is 8 it will look a little like this:


  • Age:19
  • University


  • Age: 15
  • Grade: 9

New baby

  • Age: 8
  • Grade: 2

So I will have 3 children in 3 different school in 3 different stages of life… This already sounds like a lot of work.

My other reason for not wanting children after 30 is I don’t want too. For now we have made the decision that if I am not pregnant by April 2016 Hannes is going for a snip. This is not the final decision we will discuss it again in April 2016 but for now that is our timeline. We don’t want to struggle to have a baby and then I have one in my later 30’s and we sit with a child in School when we are almost 60. I want my kids done with school and university by the time that I am 55. I want to be able to at that age not longer worry about my children’s future (not that you ever stop worrying) I just want to work on our retirement plan by that age.

So yes Hurry up and wait is not a game that I like to play.


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3 thoughts on “Hurry up and wait is not for me

  1. “The best laid plans of men…” We can plan, we can plot, but life is what it is, and throws us curve balls. I arrived after my parents had finished their family. My brothers are 13 and 11 years older than me, and my mom always maintains I kept them young, and at 78, they’re doing ok! My eldest boet was in 2nd year varsity when I started school, my younger in matric, and we have had a great life together. So all I’m saying is don’t hold yourself to this timeline. Things don’t always happen in accordance with our plans.
    (And please be careful with the snip, it’s such a final thing to do!)


    • Charliesbird – It is all very final, that is why we decided that is how we feel now and will discuss it again in April when this timeline over and make a decision. I know myself and I probably will end up trying for another year or so before I give up.


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