Money and Relationships don’t always gel well…

Money can be the cause of many arguments in any relationship. I know that Hannes and I often do not agree on how money is spent and we then just do what we want which isn’t the right decision because we are married and we need to make these kind of decisions together.

Here are a couple of ways to prevent your from fighting with your spouse about money. I’m not saying that they always work and that we have this down perfectly, but we are working on it.

Don’t hide your debt

Sometimes we are embarrassed to tell our spouses that we are in financial trouble as we do not want to add extra stress on them, but working together and sharing your problems might not improve the situation but knowing that your have someone in your corner to support you will help lower your stress.

Budget, budget, budget

Work out a budget and try to stick to it. I work out our budget every month and forward it to Hannes to make changes/approve it. This way we both have input in the budget and no one feels left out.

Take those shopping bags out of the boot

If you feel that what you bought needs to be hidden in the boot for a couple of days and then sneaked into the closet, then you should not be spending money on it. I would rather that you allocate a certain amount to each person in the household to spend as they please. That way you don’t need to hide your purchase and you don’t need to ask for permission.

Plan big spends together

Hannes really wants a big flat screen for the lounge and for the last 2 years I have been saying no, not that my decision is the best one, but we have a computer and TV in my bedroom, 2 TV’s in the kid’s room as well as a TV in the lounge. We really don’t need another.  If he went out and got another TV without us agreeing on it, it would be a huge fight. What I’m trying to say is discuss big purchases with each other. Set up a spending limit, anything more that R500 needs to be discussed be purchased. You can obviously decide on your own amount depending on your income, but the key is talking to each other.

You’re a team, respect that

At times we all make hasty decisions when it comes to spending and we can’t all be good with the books. If your spouse is not good with handling money, don’t be rude and talk down to them. Discuss this with them, they need responsibilities to learn to improve but do this in an adult way.

Marriage/relationships need team work to be successful. Work as a team and you will see results.


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