Christmas beds and baby dreams

Tonight we have a full house. A large Christmas bed in the lounge with Hannes and 3 kids and I have little baby feet kicking me in the ribs. This feeling of a full house fills my heart like no other.

In the last week I found out that two of my friends are pregnant. I am so happy and excited for them, but there is this gap in my heart that wants another baby. Another baby I cant have. Its not because I am physically not able, but we cannot financially do it to ourselves and our children right now.

We can have another and survive but we will have to cut the kids current extramural activities and that is not fair.

So for now I cant have another baby. But my friend Tara allows me to steal her kids when the need for another baby gets to huge for my heart to handle. I have a little boy who is busy as boys should be – i will never admit wanting one and little princess kitty kate who fills my co-sleeping needs and baby cuddling. She is a good friend.



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