That’s how I feel right now. Today I found out that someone who was suppose to be apart of my life passed away. I’m so confused right now. They say that one should not live with the “what if” in the back of your mind, but i have that now. Somehow I have always known this day would come and I believed that I would have gotten over my issues before then and made an attempt to get to know her. But I never did.
I don’t know what to think or feel. I will never have the chance to get to know her, I will never be able to see her smile or see what everyone else sees in her. But I am to blame for that as well.
I’ve had 18 months to attempt to get to know her and form some kind of bond and I avoided it.
Maybe I have no right feel heartbroken over someone I never got to know, it was s decision I made and I have to live with that.
My heart goes out to the family – my family, it’s never easy to loose someone and I know that especially with this person it must be the hardest as all of you have only had good things to say about her.