Heaven and Hell

Its exactly what this week has been like for me. It has gone from good to bad and back to good and horrible all in one!

My week started out good, monday morning I was all happy go lucky. Until Hannes informed me he is moving away and my life felt like if flashed befoe my eyes and how it was falling apart. All I could think of was the fact that Lorelai will no also grow up without a father and how I could see Hannes coming to visit every month for the first could of months and then he will come less and eventually he would not visit at all. It broke my heart. I even did a 2 line post about it…

I kept myself in control, I did not cry and I did not show that I was upset, but when HQ walked in my door that night I fell apart, I was sobbing like a baby. Poor R did not know where to look or what to so. Poor man has seen me cry twice and usually it is something I try and hide and only those really close to me really gets to see what I feel.

Tuesday – Hannes commented on my blog post of him leaving. Usually I would not approve such comments but I figured why not, let the world see you for who you are. The blog mommies came running and told him exactly where he can stick it. That made me feel better, not because he was told off, but because the support I get from my friends, family and bloggy mommies is amazing. I truly love you all.

That night HQ felt that I needed some cheering up and he offered up his house for supper. The idea was that we would drink wine and that R would cook. Needless to say HQ had to finish the meal R started. We ate but not alot of talking happend. We watched Big Bang and I fell asleep on the couch in between the boys. Their house has really become a place where I feel safe. A place where I can put my feet up and leave my worries at the door. I dont think the boys actuallt realise how much they mean to me and how much the contribute to my happiness.

Wednesday was a slow day. I was still lost over everything that has happend, but dealing with it. Hannes informed me that he is now not moving away. Seriously he goes out of his way to upset me! I headed over to HQ’s for movies but fell asleep shortly after it started. For the first time in a week or so I had a good nights sleep.

Yesterday I did some cleaning because this week and all it emotional crap just messed me up and in return meant that I did little or nothing at home. At about 14:00 my little brother (my brother from biodad) called and asked if I would like to join him for lunch by biodad. I almost said no I cant cause I have plans, but I went.

At first I was very nervous and very uncomfortable but eventually I started to relax and I had a fun afternoon. It was great seeing Alton again and I got to meet my sister. Alfie and I didnt chat much as I think we are both still trying to figure out how to get to know each other and how to have a relationship, but we will get there, someday I hope.

Today I am at home with the girls and I have to say they are so well behaved Im beginning to wonder if they are my kids.

A wonderful long weekend… Tomorrow is Newlands to watch WP make some sushi and then where every the wind blows me will be awesome!

What are your plans for the weekend.

Ps: Im sorry if there are spelling and grammar errors, but posting from my cell.


4 thoughts on “Heaven and Hell

    • Aparently HQ (dont know if his better half R is joining him) is heading out to Ceres tomorrow im not to sure about the return date or time. But then again i do have access to his house whenever I feel I need it. I have sunday open if you want to spend the day chilling? *ps let me know so I can get his keys.


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