Day 1 of the rest of my life…

25 and newly single with 2 amazing little girls

So if you ask me now who I am that will be my answer! How sad is that?

A bit of background on me, I accidentally got pregnant at the age of 18 and had my first baby at 19, the best decisions I ever made was to keep her. I had to grow up quickly and started working as a receptionist at Picasso Headline a division of Avusa media within my first year at the company I got promoted to a content co-ordinator and loved every second of it. Personally my life was a mess as I got no financial support for the bio dad, Amandalynn was in and out of hospital and my love life was a mess because I was a mess.

In 2009 I met Lorelai’s father and fell head over heels in love, I figured out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life and got pregnant again, but I was happy in love and my professional life was taking a turn upward. Jan 2010 I gave birth to this cute little girl Lorelai. From there things picked up our financial worries started to fade (was still not getting support from bio dad 1) and life was happy. October of that year life started to change suddenly I got retrenched and from there things started to spiral out of control! My relationship started to fall apart and no matter what I did I could not save it. I hid behind my children so much that who they were was who I will be. I lived completely for them. I moved back home with 2 kids in tow in February 2011.

I have the best parents ever. They never mentioned the fact that I was a failure (cause that is exactly what I felt like) or that having 2 little kids in the house was a problem. Instead of judging me they decided on building me and the kids a 2 bedroom town house on the property.

Bio dad 2 and I figured things out and decided that love cannot be written off and give it a shot again, we dated for 6 months and moved back in together. Within a month of living together things fell apart. I wish I could blame it all on him, but because i am lost and not sure about who I am or who I want to be it affected our relationship. He moved out.

I was upset about the fact that the relationship ended but not heartbroken. As we tried and it did not work, honestly I gave it my all, so now I am lifting my head up high and moving forward to find happiness within myself before trying to find happiness with another.

So here we are at today…

I wish I could write a 5 page essay about who I am and why I am the perfect blogger for you to follow, but the truth is that I do not know.

I do know the following:
I love my children and every decision I make or will make from this day forward will be in their best interest!
I love shoes.
I love coffee.
I am trying to figure out what I want to be, what I will be studying to make that dream a reality.
I have great friends.
This year will be a journey of discovery for me as I have set a deadline that by my 26 birthday I have to know what comes next.

So that’s me The Stiletto Mum if you want to know more about me stick around I can promise you it will be an interesting show and head on over to my previous blog Scaredmom to see where this journey started.

*You’ll see a couple of post on this blog that I carried over from Scaredmom; they are the ones that affect who I am today and how I got here the most. Or just cute things my girls did.

** Lastly I want to that my dear friend Cupcakemummy for the love and support I have gotten from her in the last couple of months and I want to thank her for the wonderful look of this blog because it’s all her!

 

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11 thoughts on “Day 1 of the rest of my life…

  1. Good luck with the new adventure!

    Uh-hum! *clears throat vigorously* Charlotte, you are not a failure. You may just be taking the scenic route to where ever you might be heading – and that’s not a bad way to travel actually. 😉

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    • After 3 years I felt a little bit like a failure, but all I feel now is disappointed, but happy as I am moving forward and taking the ME back!

      Like

  2. Your new blog looks great! Love the name!

    I was married by age 20 and divorced by 22 remarried by 24 and I still don’t have all the answers – also still trying to find myself – kids impact that big time. I know what you mean about feeling like a failure – but if it wasn’t for my mess ups I wouldn’t be where I am today – it all worked out the way it should’ve.
    Perhaps in your journey I will find some answers or at least tips as to how to get the ME back!

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  3. Your new blog looks awesome!
    And failure – rubbish. Look at your great girls. I am 40 and don’t think I know where I am headed either. I don’t think that is being a failure. I think it is just realisit. Who knows what is around the corner.

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