Friendship Devolution: (n.), the process by which seemingly solid, time-tested relationships devolve into infrequent platitudes and insincere gestures towards joint social activities, inevitably unraveling altogether, following changes in relationships status(es) and/or the arrival of children (See also: Demotion from real friend to Facebook friend)
Momma Be Thy Name wrote a post about Devolving Friendships and Other Consequences of Having a Family, here are two sections of the post that I love (you can read the rest on her blog)
“I now have no patience for anyone who doesn’t understand (or care) what the challenges are to my situation, anyone who can’t deal with rescheduling twenty-seven times, or anyone who can’t see past his or her own nose. I’ve got kids. And I love my kids. And I love my Husband. And I love my home, the glorious mess that it is. And if you can’t find a way to squeeze yourself in there somewhere, I can’t (and won’t) do it for you.
My bus is leaving – it’s rolling, in fact – so if you value me, the things we’ve been through, the things we’ve laughed and/or cried about, who I am, and the beautiful chaos that my life’s become, by all means, jump on. But if you don’t, or can’t, consider this a fond farewell. Because I’ve got things to do, and ruminating is no longer one of them.”
I just love the way that she put everything together. After recent developments I realised that I have to fight for what is important to me. Dont get me wrong my friends are important but my family comes first.
Hannes and I are not married, hell we don’t even live together, but we are together. We fight and sometimes I want to give up and run away but since we made a commitment to each other in June the good is so much more than the bad.
I need my friends, the people in my life to understand that he is the love of my life, you may not always agree but he is what I want.
I love him and I love my kids.
We are a family.
We might be weird at times, but we are family.
I will go out of my way to protect my family and make things easy for them – yes sometimes I will do at the cost of me, but seeing my girls and DB happy means the world to me!
So basically get on and support me no matter what… or get off!
- Devolving Friendships and Other Consequences of Having a Family (mommabethyname.com)
- Friendship vs Family (twisted4lifeinaz.wordpress.com)
- You Gotta Have Friends! (Or Do You?) (monster.typepad.com)
- Friendship (soplodeunamariposa.wordpress.com)