The Lioness – Parenting Styles (Part 6)

Louisa is the mommy blogger over at 123 Blog Myself  she is funny and smart. I love reading her posts daily.  She is also one of the first blogs I started following.

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Meet the Lioness…

I’ve been blogging for 5 years now. Initially it started off as away to stay sane while I was studying, but I took to it like a duck to water and my blog has really changed a lot over the years, just as I have. It started off as a little show and tell space where I would put up interesting things I came across or places I went and people I’ve met, or where I could stick up inspirational quotes and my poems if I felt like it. Then we went through a phase where it was just party-party-party, and of course now I suppose it’s more or less firmly a mommy blog, with the occasional bitch and whine from me about work in between. No doubt it will keep changing and developing as I do.

I am the proud mama of a beautiful little girl, Nicola, who turns two in December. She was an unexpected blessing in my life since the doctors told me that I probably wouldn’t be able to have babies without some sort of medical intervention. So Nicola really is my little miracle.

It’s just the two of us, but we have a massive support structure, and even though sometimes we have just enough we never want for anything. My parents live probably about 3km away from us, as does my brother and his girlfriend. I believe family is important so I make sure that Nicola gets to see them all as much as possible. She has really good relationships with every single one of them. On top of the fact that I do love my family and want to spend time with them myself, I have to be realistic and prepared. If anything ever happened to me these are the people who would have to raise my daughter and I don’t want them to be strangers to her (enough doom and gloom, let’s just call it a two flies with one swat situation).

Coming up with a name for my parenting style is a bit tricky. If I had to put a name to it I’d go with Lioness. Nicola is my cub and through play I am training her to rule the jungle. The pride takes care of its own, if you get my drift. 😉

In some things I am quite strict, and in others I’m really not. I’m fiercely protective of Nicola when it comes to other people (If anyone ever intentionally hurt my child there would not be any hole deep enough for them to hide in from me. Grrrr!), but I like to give her enough space to explore things even if it’s not 100% safe. If it’s too dangerous I’ll obviously step in, for instance I might not let her climb up a wall (even when she REALLY wants to!) but I’ll let her try and get out of the bath on her own to see if she can (even though I know she probably can’t do it perfectly yet). Bumps and bruised and scrapes are part of being a kid and growing up. How will she ever figure out what she’s capable of if I constantly wrap her in cotton-wool and keep her from finding out?

I love it when she gets really filthy from playing. I think dirt is good for kids and I think the perfect day entails her getting so dirty that I have to soak her clothes in vanish and wash them twice before she can wear them out again. The dirtier the better…except when we eat or go to the loo, proper hand-washing and face washing for that. And if we’re going to a party I try and get her to stay more or less clean until our hosts have at least seen her, after that anything goes. If you’re not going to be carefree and play with abandon as a kid, when will you ever get to do it?

I want to raise Nicola to be fearless, but without being rude. If she has any assertive in her (and she has plenty) I want to give her the opportunity to develop it. My kid will learn to push back when life pushes her, and she will be confident in herself and her abilities (well that’s the plan anyway, so far so good). At the same time I will not be doing her any favours if I raise her as a brat, or if I try to overcompensate for the missing diodad by letting her just get her own way in everything. It’s a tight rope balancing act between the two, some days we do better at it then others – but we’re learning as we go along and that’s okay. I’m putting everything I have into this, and that has to count for something, even when I occasionally get it wrong, right?

Nicola is a great communicator, probably because we talk all the time! (and we don’t have a TV, or want one) I am constantly amazed at how quickly she picks up new concepts and vocabulary to go with it. She’s not shy about voicing her opinion either, even when I don’t agree, and I love that. My rule is that she’s allowed to complain (as loudly as she wants at the moment, but we’ll work on that still), but when tantrums progress into the throw myself down on the floor and throw things around stage I’m not shy to give her a smack on the bum to nip that kind of behaviour in the butt. I do not take kindly to anyone else trying to discipline my child, and generally it’s not needed.

Generally she is a happy, playful, loving, independent, affectionate, adventurous, helpful, clever, obedient, funny and spirited child. I’m not sure how much of that is my doing and how much is just her nature. I love her to bits and we have a very strong bond. My hope is that my parenting style will assist her in becoming a vivacious and independent woman one day, and that she’ll know that I will always be in her corner and her biggest fan. My love for her is and always will be unconditional. She’s her own little person, and my job is just to help her figure out exactly what that means in the best way I can.

Mommy and her Cub

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Thank You Louisa for doing this post for me. You and your daughter are beautiful! Nicola is very lucky to have a mom like you…

Watch this space as Part 7 of this series will be posted on 24 November 2011. Can you say I believe in Miracles?

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Would you want to become apart of an awesome group of bloggers that are doing a secret Santa? If so follow this link before 25 November 2011!

You are invited to join Thingymajiggy’s for a cup of tea and piece of cake, and to view some of the wonderful Kidz only products that we sell. Date 26 November 2011 for more details on Northern Suburbs Cape Town & Southern Suburbs Cape Town.

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12 thoughts on “The Lioness – Parenting Styles (Part 6)

  1. I love how through all the parenting styles you’ve featured so far I see a bit of everything we do at home and how we parent. I’ve come to the conclusion all parenting styles are inter twined some how

    Like

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