Attachment Parenting or something like it… – Parenting Styles Part 5

Anita is a lovely women over at Miss K doing her thing we originally met via Moomie (funny how I know most of my blog mommies via Moomie or a Moomie mommies blog) Anita and I have not met, but she promised to make a plan and come down to Cape Town for Lorelai’s birthday (yes I know I’m asking a lot, but I really want to meet her)

When I came up with the idea to get moms involved in the process of learning about different paretning styles Anita was one of the first ladies I asked.

Thank you babes for being so keen on helping me out.

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When Charlotte asked me to do a guest post for her I was a little surprised because a) I haven’t had my blog for long, not even a year old yet and I don’t blog regularly and b) I’ve been a mom for only 18 months and half the time I just take it a day at a time and don’t have any set ‘rules’.  I started my blog because of Charlotte, who kept pushing me to just do it and now she my ‘blog mentor’ is asking me to do a post for her. Weird much? J

I became a mother by chance, I don’t like it when people say MY baby was a mistake, as a Christian I believe no child is a mistake, God gives you gifts as you walk this journey of life and Miss K is one of my gifts.  When I was pregnant I could not imagine what this person I was carrying would look like and how I would treat her but all I knew I would do the best I can as God had trusted me with such a precious gift.

I am generally a soft hearted and rather emotional person; I hate being shouted at and seeing images of people that are suffering really gets me down in the dumps.  Some people say I am so soft because my star sign is a Libra and unfortunately I don’t believe in star signs, I am like this because I was made like this. You may ask yourself why I choose to tell you this right. And I will tell you why. I treat or should I say parent Miss K in a way where I think of her emotions and how what I do will make her feel before doing something. I never ‘chose’ to parent this way before she was born it just something that came so easily and naturally to me. I do what is called Attachment Parenting.

I breastfed Miss K for 6 months exclusively and we co-slept from day 1 and we still do 18 months later. I respond to Miss K’s every cry and complaint even when I know she full, her nappy is dry and her clothes are fine. When she does cry I respond quickly and with sensitivity. For example when Miss K wakes up at night I do not leave her to ‘hopefully go back to sleep on her own’ but I wake up and reassure her that I am here and sometimes I let her sleep on my chest.

We do not have a set routine in our house; we are flexible and respond to Miss K’s signs.  When I had just given birth I was reading a baby magazine and was also told by the nurses how a strict routine is good for  children as they need stability but I would not be able to follow through with anything anyway so we never went that route.

When it comes to disciple I do not set unrealistic expectations for her on how she should behave. For example I do not expect her to be quiet and sit in her pram through the whole church service or maybe expect her not to cry for a toy she wants. I try to avoid situations where she gets frustrated and when she does get frustrated I help her deal with her feelings. When I feel she is being impossible I pick her up and we move away from the situation and not leave her and walk away as I feel that would make her feel  anxious.  When it comes to discipline I use the words good girl and well done a lot, as a result when she is ‘talking to her dolls I hear goo girl a lot ‘ We hug and cuddle and kiss a lot and as a result she kisses and hugs strangers with no problem. (Not saying hugging and kissing strangers is a good thing)

Other aspects of our daily life are influenced by ‘attachment parenting’ for example we use BPA free bottles, she used cloth nappies as these are natural and good for her. We let her play and run around freely and not give her electronic toys etc because we want her to have a balanced life.

To many people I am spoiling my daughter and not preparing her well enough for ‘this life’ but I believe I am equipping her well enough for life and this is cemented even more by the feedback I get from her day care teachers on how she is gentle with the younger children and how she is mature and gives lot of love. I am raising her as best as I can.

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Thank you Anita, for doing this post for me… Hop along to her blog people and tell her you love her! 🙂

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